Paper One Piece: The Thousand Year Meat
by OPFan37
Summary: When the Straw-hats fish up a black box, they are all cursed and thrown into a world made of paper and cardboard...well, except for one member. Ellix journeys into this strange world and befriends a man named Mario, whilst he journeys for the Crystal Stars to find Princess Peach, Ellix searches for his nakama. But...why's he made of paper? And why isn't he a FRIKKIN HUMAN ANYMORE?
1. Chapter 1

Prologue: How it all began 

I sat on the edge of the Sunny, staring out at the wonderful ocean. Me and my nakama had just departed Thriller Bark, so I had on my black baggy trousers with flame designs, my purple shirt with a dark smiling face on it, and a white skull imprintment on the back of my right hand.

At the moment, there was nothing but smooth sailing ahead.

Well, apart from one thing.

"LUFFY YOU BAKA!" Our red-head navigator hit the captain of the ship over the head, leaving a giant bruise. "HOW THE HELL COULD YOU EAT A WEEKS SUPPLY OF FOOD IN ONE DAY!?"

"I was really hungry." Luffy replied stupidly, innocently, but still stupidly. Earning him another punch.

"How the hell did you get the key to the fridge anyway!?" The cook roared.

"Usopp got it for me." Luffy said, pointing to the sniper in question.

That earned the both of them large steaming welps.

The local archeologist just chuckled at the crews misfits, finally coming out of the library. "Perhaps we must find a hiding place for the key." She suggested.

"Excellent idea as always Robin-chwaaaaan!" Sanji swooned.

"Ahhhh! Luffy! Usopp!" The reindeer/doctor shrieked. "Somebody get a doctor!"

"Pardon me Chopper-san, but aren't you the doctor?" Our newest nakama musician asked.

"Oh yeah!"

The green haired swordsman just slept through the chaos as per the norm.

"Oi! I could build a SUPER fridge for ya!" A certain cyborg suggested.

"Stay away from my kitchen!" Sanji shouted at him, stomping off.

Nami sighed and rubbed her temple. "Okay, you two are going to fish up some food or we're having YOU for dinner!"

The pair instantly stood to attention with their badly bruised faces. "Yes ma'am!" They then proceeded to carry out their task.

Nami came over and sat beside me, giving a deep sigh.

"You okay?" I asked her.

"What do you think?" She replied with half-lidded eyes. "I swear, sometimes those two act more like children then pirates."

I looked over my shoulder at said pirates to see them poking each other in an attempt to start...something.

"Here, I'll help." I got my fishing rod from beside me and threw the end into the ocean.

"I asked those two to do it. Not you." She huffed.

"I know but-"

Suddenly I felt something tug at the end of my line. "Whoa! I got something!"

"Nani? All ready?" Nami asked, staring at the line.

"Yep! And it's a big one!" I tried pulling some more, but this fish was strong!

"Luffy! Usopp! Help Ellix!" Nami yelled to the two bakas.

"Nani!? Ellix caught something!?" Usopp yelled, dashing over.

Luffy immediantely wrapped his rubbery arms around my waist and started pulling. "Don't let it escape! I want meat!"

All four of us began to pull hard on the line as a certain marimo woke up. "Oi...keep it down." He mumbled.

"ZORO GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND PULL!" Demoness Nami yelled.

The swordsman walked over muttering something about a damn sea witch. He grabbed the line and with one huge pull a large object exploded out of the water and landed on deck.

"Your welcome." He grumbled, going back to his usual spot to sleep again.

I sat up and rubbed my head. "Damn it...oh well, at least we got a fish."

Everyone gathered round the new object.

"MEAT!" Luffy yelled running over to the thing, but instantly started pouting. "Huh? That's not meat!"

No, it was not.

It was a large black box.

"What is it?" Chopper asked.

"I believe the better question is what it contains." Robin said.

This enticed the navigator who rushed over with berri signs in her eyes. "An underwater treasure!? Great! We can add it to what we got from Thriller Bark!"

I wasn't interested in the box however, I was interested in the thing that had fallen in front of me.

It was a pendant as big as my hand, it had five golden points like a star and had a rainbow coloured gem in the middle, it was beautiful.

Seeing as how everyone else was looking at the chest I slipped it into my pocket.

"Hold on, I'll prize it open." Franky said.

"M-Maybe we shouldn't." Usopp the coward stammered. "It could be a trap or something. Plus my Don't-open-the-creepy-chest disease is acting up again."

"Whooooaaaaa!" The giant black box suddenly shook violently and everyone jumped back. "Looks like someone fished me out!"

"T-The box is talking!" Usopp shrieked.

"Sugoiiiii! A talking box!" My captain said with sparkling eyes, he then began shaking the box. "Hey! Mystery box! Say something else!"

"Huh? You can hear my voice!?" The box said. "That must mean your some kinda legendary hero or something!"

"We're not heroes! We're pirates!" Luffy shouted at the inanimate talking object.

"Really? Whatever floats your boat." The box said. "Anyways, can ya let me outta here? It's really cramped and there's a lot of sea water in here. It's not nice ya know!"

"Okay!" Luffy tried to pry the box open but was interrupted by Nami.

"Just wait a second!" She yelled. "We don't even know who this guy is! Or how he got stuck in a box!"

"How could someone even fit in there anyway?" Sanji asked, lighting a new cigarette.

"I must admit my ears have never listened to a talking box before." Brook said. "Ah! But I have no ears! Skull joke!"

Zoro snorted. "Reminds me of that weirdo we met on that island."

"What do you think, Ellix?" Nami asked, as I was keeping my distance.

"Ummm...it's a guy in a box, I got nothing." I admitted.

"Oh pleeeaaase let me out!" The box whined. "If ya do, I'll give you an ancient technique handed down through my...people."

"An ancient technique!?" Luffy yelled with sparkles in his eyes. "We gotta get this guy out! Captains orders!"

"LUFFY!" Nami yelled with shark teeth.

"He probably just said that so we'd let him out." Franky pointed out.

"Nani!? He lied!?" Chopper shouted.

"Maybe we should learn more about him first." Robin suggested.

"Good idea, Robin." Nami approved, bending down at the box. "Alright then, who are you and where did you come from?"

The box almost looked like it was sweating. "Ummm...Canada?"

"Name or place?"

"...place?"

She stood up and sighed. "Never heard of a place called Canada."

"Looks like this guys going back in the water." Zoro said.

"WHAT!?" The box yelled.

Luffy slumped in defeat. "Awww, I wanted to learn that secret technique. I hope we get some meat soon..."

And so the box found its trump card. "Ah! Meat? I have loads of meat in here with me! You can have all of it if you let me out!"

'Oh dear...'

Luffy instantly leapt onto the box. "MEAT! GIMME!" And with monstrous strength he tore the the top clean off, hinges and all.

We all just stared at him with our jaws on the floor.

"Phew! Thanks pal! I really owe you one!" The box said. "Oh! And one more thing...WEHEHEHEHE! FOOLS!"

A large black blob emerged out of the box, sensing the danger I leapt back just in time, my nakama weren't so lucky as the blob unfolded itself and caught them all, like a piece of paper.

"OH MAN! DID YOU ALL FALL FOR THAT ONE!" The giant crumpled ball cackled. "LIKE I COULD CARRY MEAT! I DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY ARMS! BUT I'M A GENEROUS GUY! SO I GUESS I GOTTA GIVE YA SOMETHING! HOW ABOUT A FIVE-STAR CURSE!? YOU CAN THANK ME LATER!"

"Hey! Stop that!" I yelled. "Leave my nakama alone!"

"ZOOBOBBIDY ZANG! HAVE A CURSE! BANG! BANG!"

There were a few flashes of bright light, and the paper ball uncrumpled. But instead of my nakama falling out...

...a bunch of small dolls that LOOKED like my nakama fell out.

"WOW! THAT'S MY BEST WORK YET!" The creature who now looked like a sheet of purple paper with yellow eyes and a yellow pumpkin mouth chuckled.

"You! Turn my nakama back to normal!" I shouted.

"WHOA! I MISSED ONE! OH WELL! HAVE FUN PLAYING TEA-TIME WITH YOUR FRIENDS!" The thing said as it started to fly off.

"Come back!" I yelled, giving chase with Geppo.

The thing seemed to stop as it hovered above the Sunny, looking around in confusion. "HUH? THIS DOESN'T LOOK FAMILIAR! DID I GET LOST OR SOMETHING!? AH WELL, I'LL MAKE A WAY HOME! ZOOBOBBIDY ZANG! GET ME HOME! BANG! BANG!"

As I grabbed onto his papery body a large purple portal suddenly opened up! It was twice as big as the Sunny!

"W-What is THAT!?" I yelled.

"HEY! LET GO OF ME!" Thingie roared as the portal suddenly started sucking in everything!

The vacuum was so strong I could only watch as my dollified nakama were sucked into it.

"NAMI! LUFFY! USOPP! CHOPPER! ROBIN! BROOK! FRANKY! SANJI! ZORO!"

Then Sunny was sucked into it too! "SUNNYYYYYYYY!"

And finally it was our turn! "GET OFF!" Thingie screamed.

"NO! I'm gonna find my nakama and YOUR gonna turn them back!"

And so we were sucked in as well. It felt like being flushed down a plug hole, everything just kept spinning and spinning as I closed my eyes and wished for it to stop.

Then...darkness.

To be continued...

**Hello there! This is my first crossover! It's between my favourite anime One Piece, and one of my favourite Mario games 'Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door'! (seriously, I've completed it seven times.)**

**I hope you all enjoy it! Sorry this chapters so short, I promise it'll be longer next chapter.**

**Mario belongs to Nintendo, One Piece belongs to Eichiiro Oda, Ellix belongs to me. Thank you for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1: A Rogues Welcome 

I opened my eyes to be met with an intense bright light, I tried to raise my hand to cover it but I felt too weak.

"Hey! He's wakin' up!" I heard someone say.

"Are you even sure it's a 'he'?" Another voice said.

I tried to listen some more, but I stopped as I saw a face in front of me.

This face belonged to a man with a brown mustache with VERY basic eyes, they were literally just two black lines. He also was wearing a red cap with a white circle on the front with a red 'M' on it.

"Hey...uh...who are you?" I asked groggily.

"He's awake!" That voice yelled again.

"'IT'S' awake." The other voice incorrectly corrected him.

The only guy I saw right now offered me a white gloved hand, which I took, still not being able to see properly. I looked at this guy to see he also had on a red shirt with blue overalls, gold buttons, and brown boots. Also, he was a bit taller then me. But that wasn't what I was interested in.

He was as flat as a pancake in terms of proportion. It was almost like he was a paper cut-out or something.

"Hmm..." I murmured as I walked around him. He didn't move an inch, but I could still see him perfectly, I couldn't look at him sideways so that he looked almost invisible. "That's weird..."

"Hey pal! You alright!?"

I turned to the voice and my jaw dropped.

I was staring at some kind of toadstool with arms, legs and a face. And a giant purple BOMB with a black eye patch, bandana, and bones turning like gears on it's back. They were both flat too.

"Oooo...kayyyy..." I said hesitantly. "So...are you guys Devil Fruit users or something?"

"Devil Fruit users? What the heck is that?" The living bomb asked.

"No. I'm a Toad, and he's a Bob-omb." The 'Toad' said, pointing to himself and the 'Bob-omb'.

"Soooo...Devil Fruits are unknown and you...guys are normal?" I questioned them surveying the area I had woken up in. It was some kind of bustling port with more of those Toads and a blue Bob-omb walking around.

"Yep, pretty much." The Toad confirmed.

'I don't think I'm in the Grand Line anymore.' I thought as I turned to the guy I'd first seen. "And you are...?"

He pointed at himself. "It's-a-me! Mario!"

"Mario, huh?" I said. "Nice to meet you Mario, I'm Elliiiiii-aaahhhhhhh!"

"Elliiiiii-aaahhhhhhh? This guys nuts." The Bob-omb said.

No. I had screamed because I had held out my hand to Mario.

Except this WASN'T MY HAND!

What I was staring at was a crimson red hand with three stubby black fingers attached to a matching thick spaghetti-arm.

"W-What the hell!?" I yelled at the arm that wasn't mine. I quickly ran over to the edge of the port and peered in to the water. My jaw dropped and I turned to stone.

I WASN'T staring at ME!

What I was staring at was a weird looking red creature with three points on its head that made it look like a star, large Luffy-like eyes, spindly limbs and Oval shaped feet with black claws on the end. Who, like everyone else I'd seen so far, was completely flat. But the thing that shocked me the most, was the fact that the emblem I'd picked up was STUCK IN IT'S CHEST!

I just stared at the thing with wide eyes and a hanging lower jaw.

"Hey pal? You okay?" The Bob-omb asked.

I glared at him. "Does it LOOK like I'm okay!? I've been turned into some kinda side-show freak! I'm practically a deformed midget!"

"So...this isn't what you usually look like?" The Toad asked.

"Do you see any of THESE walking around lately!?" I shouted with shark teeth, pointing at myself. "And how do I get THIS thing off!?" I tugged at the pendant now lodged into my chest, but it was stuck tighter then Luffy's mouth after he raids the toffee cupboard...LUFFY!

"My nakama!" I yelled, now frantically looking around. "I bet this is all that stupid paper things fault! Where'd he run off to anyway!? Where's Sunny!? Where are my nakama!?"

I felt something slam onto my head. "Owww!" I turned around to see Mario wielding a giant wooden mallet. He told me to calm down and talk slowly.

"...Okay, thanks Mario." I said, we both sat down on the stone (cardboard?) pier. "Well you see, I'm-AHHHHH! I just realized I've lost my frikkin THUMBS!"

The Toad and Bob-omb fell over. "You notice that NOW!?"

"Well excuse me for not noticing as I HAVE NO THUMBS!" I shouted, waving my new hands in their faces while Mario sighed.

One explanation later...

"Okay..." I said, intertwining my spaghetti arms incredibly easily. "Your Mario, the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom and brother of Luigi. You came here, to Rogueport, to find Princess Peach because she sent you a letter about an ancient treasure. And you have a treasure map to prove it. Am I missing anything?"

"Mm-mm." Mario said, shaking his head. I had told him about me, my nakama, and what happened to us.

"Umm..listen Mario." I mumbled, scratching the back of my head. "I really have no clue where my nakama are, do you know where your going to find Princess Peach?"

He nodded.

"In that case...do you mind if I come with you?"

He instantly replied with an "Oh yeah!"

We both stood up. "Let's start over." I held out my three fingered hand. "I'm Wodos T. Ellix, at least I think I am, nice to meet you!"

"Mario." He said, shaking my hand.

So we finally started to walk to the town square. "Where exactly are you meeting Princess Peach?"

He pointed to an archway into the main square.

"Great!...Hey, do you have marines here?"

He shook his head.

"I think I kinda like this place..."

"Hey! What do you want from me!? Get away you freak!" A voice screamed.

Me and Mario looked forward to see...a pink...THING wearing a helmet with a flashlight on it and a big blond ponytail. She (I think) wore a red tie, had no arms, and kinda looked like...a mushroom.

An obese guy wearing a mask and goggles in a stupid purple leotard was chasing her, accompanied by smaller guys just like him except they had white leotards.

I raised my hands in the air. "Okay, okay...who are those guys?"

"Oh, come off it baby." Fatty-Fat-Fat-Fat chuckled. "We know you've been going around town asking about the Crystal Stars. Well now I'm doin' the talking! So tell us what you know!Right now!"

"Never! I don't have anything to say to you creeps! Eww!" The girl(?) replied.

'She kinda reminds me of Nami...' I thought while sweat-dropping. 'Crud! I never even thought of that! I can't let her see me like this!'

"I suppose it wouldn't be right if a sassy little thing like yourself left with an untimely demise..." Sir Fatsolot stated. "Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! Boys, we're taking this firebrand to our fortress!"

"As you command, Lord Crump!" One of his lackeys said.

The girl stepped back nervously as 'Lord Crump' and his minions got closer to her. "N-No! Stop right there you weirdos! I'll scream! Really!"

"Woah! That...girls in trouble!" I gasped. "Hey Mario! Should we-"

He had already rushed off to help her. "Mario!" I chased after him.

The girl noticed us and instantly hid behind us. "like I'd go anywhere with any smelly lunatics like you! Hmph! Not likely!"

"Whuh? What do you think YOUR doing you chumps!?" Crump yelled at us. "You think you can just screw up my plans!?"

Me and Mario looked between the girl and the fatso. "Meh, he's annoying anyway." I mumbled.

"Gah! It's always something..." Crump muttered. "Looks like I'm gonna have to give you a taste of the old CRUMP-A-BOMB!"

"Bring it!" I yelled as we charged each other.

_Mini Boss: Lord Crump_

Suddenly a thick red curtain descended on us, and when it lifted, Me, Mario, the girl and Crumpy were on some sort of stage with a bunch of empty wooden chairs as an audience.

"What NOW!?" I yelled, looking around the room. I realized that there was some music playing as well, it was actually pretty good, it had a steady rhythm to it and went kinda like 'dora dora da, dora dora da, dora dora dora dora da!'. I kinda found myself tapping my foot to it.

looking up I saw some kind of health gauge above us, there were three, each had a picture of our faces with a heart next to it, all of them read '10/10'. Also, there was a flower as well, with a '5/5' next to it.

"Battle time, Misters!" The girl said. "Just find a way to beat this freak of the week okay?"

"No problem." I said while chuckling. I tried to attack, but I found I couldn't move. "Oh COME ON!"

Mario jumped twice on Crump, effectively squashing him, I gotta admit, he was pretty strong.

"Sweet! You KNOW that hurt! Wow! I gotta say, you're tougher then you look!" The girl exclaimed.

"Yeah! That was a strong stomp!" I said. "I'd sure like to see Luffy fight you. Not that I want you to get hurt of course!"

Mario smiled and nodded at me, and suddenly I could move again. 'So, only one person moves at a time, huh? I guess I can get used to this.'

I ran up to Crump and raised my finger. "Shigan!" But instead of stabbing him my spindly arm just flopped uselessly. "NANIII!?"

"Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! Is that all you got Short-Stack? Guess I gotta make a move!" Crump leapt into the air and aimed his bloated body at me.

"Tekkai!" But my body didn't harden, instead I got squashed, my HP dropped to '9/10'. "Oh no!" I realized. "This stupid body hasn't been trained in Rokushiki! I can't do any!"

Crump then charged at Mario and attempted to squash him as well. But at the last second Mario blocked, taking zero damage. I walked back over to the two in dismay.

"What exactly were you trying to do there?" The girl asked me with half-lidded eyes.

"Nothing..." I huffed. 'I better figure out something else, and quick!'

Mario slammed Crump with his hammer, knocking him back again. "You've got him on the ropes! C'mon! keep whaling on him!"

'Compared to Mario, I'm pretty much useless at this point! I gotta think of SOMETHING!'

So I just charged, waving my arms like a madman. Truth be told I just bounced uselessly off of his gut.

He then proceeded to squash me again.

"Oh god! I need to get Zoro to hit you with one of his training sessions!" I wheezed.

Mario managed to finish him off with another jump as I picked my sorry self off of the stage floor, noticing the music was still playing.

"You did it! Yessss! And you got Star Points!" The girl said. "Yeah, I bet you know, but you get these things called Star Points when you win battles. If you collect 100, you'll go up a level, so don't forget that!"

'Level up?' I thought, rubbing my squashed back. 'Does that mean we get stronger? Brilliant!"

And then some kind of victory music started to play, so on impulse I gave a double peace sign as Mario gave a thumbs up and the girl jumped up and down in joy.

Then everything faded to black and we were back at the port, with Crump unfortunately still there. "Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! Okay, you got some decent shots I'll give ya that, apart from Short-Stack."

"Hey!"

"But unfortunately for you that means...IT'S GO TIME!" Suddenly we were all surrounded by loads of white leotard wearing grunts, as Crump pointed at the three of us. "PUNISH THEM!"

And so the minions leapt onto us and attacked. But really they were just attacking each other as the girl walked out easily and called to us: "Quick! This way!"

Me and Mario followed her out of the mass of papery minions. "Phew! What a bunch of loons. Let's just sneak out of here, what do you say?"

"Here, here." I raised my hand as Mario nodded. We then walked up the stairs to the main square as the flat soldiers continued to crumple themselves.

We walked into the square and caught our breath. I noticed there was a hanging stand dead center. "Okay, you REALLY don't have marines here right?"

"Marines? You mean sailors?" The girl asked.

"Phew..."

"Anyways, wow mister! You...totally saved me! Thanks!" The girl said to Mario. "I have just GOT to give you a little reward!" She then kissed Mario on the cheek.

"Is that normal?" I had to ask.

"Sorry...I guess you helped too."

"N-No thanks!" I said while waving my hands. "Your very nice but I have a girlfriend."

"Really? Oh well, thanks again, my names Goombella, I'm a student at the University of Goom. Nice to meet ya!"

I hit my palm with my fist. "Oh! So that means your a goomba! Am I right?"

Goombella looked at me like I had the IQ of Luffy. "Yeah, have you never seen a goomba before?"

"I'm...kinda new here."

She seemed to shrug it off, even though she didn't HAVE any shoulders. Like how I had NO THUMBS! Gomen, I'm still not over that.

"So, uh...who are you guys?" Goombella asked.

"I'm Ellix, Wodos T. Ellix. I'm glad your the first goomba I met."

Mario introduced himself as well.

"...Mario? Wait, you mean, like, that famous guy? Wow! I can't believe I met you here!" She gasped.

"You sure are well known Mario." I whispered to him.

"Cool...anyway, no offense, but it looks like you two just rolled into town yourselves, right?"

We both nodded in reply. "Me, I already HATE it here! There are freaks and weirdos EVERYWHERE! It's nasty!"

The goomba girl did have a point, there were more goombas and weird thief mice everywhere. Plus this whole place was filled with garbage and stank.

"I mean, I know the place is called Rogueport, so I should have expected it, but sheesh! I'd never come to a place like this if there wasn't a legendary treasure here!" Goombella grumbled.

"Legendary treasure?" I said to myself. "Mario, didn't Princess Peach say something about the legendary treasure of Rogueport in her letter?"

"What? You're looking for the legendary treasure too? Seriously?" Goombella asked.

Mario nodded and held out the map he showed me earlier.

"Woah woah WOAH bucko! Whatcha got there?" Mario held out the map as Goombella examined it. "Omigosh! Is...is that a treasure map!? And Princess Peach gave it to you?"

"Great hoogly-boogly! If it isn't Master Mario!" We turned to the old voice to see an elderly Toad with a white moustache, glasses, and a cane walk up to us.

As this Toad talked I looked back to see some sort of yellow dough-molds with trees on their heads and security attires beat up some walking talking birds carrying spears...I think I'm getting used to this place.

"I only took my eye off her for a moment, but as soon as I did, she vanished!" I heard the old toad say.

I turned back to the conversation. "She? You mean Princess Peach?"

"Ah, forgive me, but I believe we have not met." Old toad asked.

"Wodos T. Ellix." I hadn't told anyone about me being a pirate, not even Mario.

"Toadsworth. A pleasure." He replied. "And yes, unfortunately I do mean the princess. You know how headstrong she is Master Mario...I just assumed she'd be back momentarily. But at this point, i fear we must embrace the possibility that we may never return. I've been at a loss as to what to do. I've been fraught with worry I tell you! But I'm feeling better with you here Master Mario. Surely we'll find her! Surely! But I know my place Master Mario...and this is not it. I leave this task to you. I believe I'll recline in the inn over there and enjoy a spot of tea, perhaps. In fact, I highly recommend it, especially if your HP is running low."

"Sounds good! I could use a power nap!" I chuckled.

"I must say though...the rest in this town is a bit...rough." He huffed as he walked away.

"Um...Princess Peach? Did he mean, like, the Mushroom Kingdom princess?" Goombella said. "The princess who always gets nabbed by Bowser? The Koopa King? That princess? Whoa, this is really intense. So then where do ya think she could have gone? You think maybe she got sick of waiting and went to find the treasure herself?"

"Princess Peach sounds kinda headstrong, despite all her kidnappings and all." I said with intertwined arms, remembering what Mario had told me about Bowser, kinda reminds me of Wapol.

"One of my professors is here researching the treasure, we'll show him your map, Mario!" Goombella stated. "If we start looking for the treasure, then maybe we'll catch up to Princess Peach!"

'And there's a good chance I'll find my nakama, then Nami will probably get us to swipe the treasure, it's a win-win situation!'

"Great! We're all good then! Let's go you guys!" Goombella told us.

Suddenly a large filter appeared around Goombella and a box appeared saying _'Goombella joined your party!'_

For some reason it then went into full detail about how Goombella could tell us about everything. I just stared with my jaw dropped. 'And just when I thought this place couldn't surprise me anymore...'

Eventually the weird background peeled away. "Okay, first off, we gotta find my professor." Goombella said. "The thing is, I only got to town myself, so I, um...don't really know where he lives. So keep an eye out! His names Professor Frankly, and he looks like this." She showed us a picture (with the use of her sharp tooth) of the professor, who was an old goomba with swirly glasses and white hair.

And so we set off to search for the professor, asking anyone and everyone but with no luck. We eventually walked into the east side of the town when suddenly a blue hooded guy wearing a mask with a face on it rammed into Mario and past him.

"Whoops! Excuse me!" He yelled as he ran past us.

"Hey! What's your beef, pal!?" Goombella yelled. "Yeah, that's right! I'm talking to you!" She then looked at Mario and gasped. "Mario! You gotta wake up! That guy just stole half your coins!"

Said plumber/hero gasped as he realized the goomba was right. "That is so LAME! Ugh, I hate this town!" Goombella grumbled.

'That guy just thinks he can steal from my friend and get away with it!?' I thought. "Mario. Goombella. You guys go find Professor Frankly, I'll catch that guy and get your coins back!"

"What? Do you even know where he went?" Goombella asked.

I shrugged. "Nope." I still gave chase though.

Going back to the main square I looked around. I may have known Mario and Goombella for a short time, but I already considered them friends, so I ran down the back alleyway and into a house filled with junk and...ugh, cockroaches. I found the thief and realized his mask was actually his face. No biggie now.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuhhheeeyyyy." He said nervously. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Shut up and give me back my friends coins!" I shouted at him.

"Ugh, okay, fine, fine! Have your stinkin' coins back!" He handed them over and I walked out very satisfied, counting 50 coins in total.

'I wonder if this is much? What kinda currency does this place have?'

I pushed the questions back as I journeyed back to the west side of town, eventually finding Mario, Goombella, and Professor Frankly in a basic house.

"Whassat!? Who is it this time?" The professor asked in a questioning tone.

"This is Ellix, professor. You know, the other guy I told you about?" Goombella said.

"Ah, I see. Is he 'hip' too then?" The old goomba asked.

"I don't think so, I've never heard of him." Goombella whispered.

"Well then, is anyone else coming? If we do I could make some of my famous boiled parsnip soup." Professor Frankly mentioned.

"Nope, that's everyone!" Goombella replied.

"Then I'll bring you up to speed young man." The professor turned to me. "I am a reasearcher of ancient artifacts and folklore, as there can always be some truth behind it. Me and my student Goombella are studying the legend of the treasure of Rogueport. Around 1,000 years ago, this town was destroyed by a mysterious cataclysm, however seven mystical gems known as the Crystal Stars were used to stop it. And so from the ruins Rogueport was created, and it is said that a treasure was sealed beneath the town along with the ruins. Behind the 'Thousand Year Door'."

"'To find the treasure of yore, take the Crystal Stars to the Thousand Year Door.'" Goombella recited. "We need the seven Crystal Stars in order to open the door!"

"And our savior Mario here, has the very magical map that can point the way to the Crystal Stars!" Frankly continued. "We just need to take it to the Thousand Year Door."

I intertwined my arms. "That map is magic? So basically we need these seven Crystal Stars to open the Thousand Year Door where the treasure is. And the only way to find them is to follow the map, right?"

"You catch on quick, my boy!" Frankly chuckled. "We also discussed that Princess Peach was here not too long ago asking about the treasure."

"Princess Peach was here? Sorry you missed her, Mario." I said to my mustached friend.

"Alright then! We can't just sit around here now can we? Let us be off to the Thousand Year Door!" And so Frankly began setting off.

I was just about to follow when something caught my eye. I gasped and ran over to the bookshelf.

On it was dollified Luffy.

I picked him up with great care. "Luffy! I found you!" I said happily. "I'm so glad your okay!"

"Ellix?" Goombella called. "Are you talking to that doll?"

I hurried out and showed it to them. "This is my best friend Luffy!"

"Huwaaah!?" Frankly yelped.

"Your best friend...is a doll?" Goombella looked at me with half-lidded eyes.

Me and Mario quickly explained our situation to them.

"Hmmm...I see...how troubling. All of you got seperated." Frankly mumbled.

"Professor, where did you find him?" I asked.

"Well it...he, just appeared on my doorstep this morning, so I thought there would be no harm in keeping him. However if you are about to ask, no, I did not find any other ones."

I slumped in defeat, but at least I had Luffy back now.

"Do you think we'll be able to find a way to turn him back to normal?" Goombella asked.

"I sincerely hope so..." I looked at Mario. "Mario, can I trust you to hold Luffy? In my current-ahem-condition, I don't have any pockets."

Mario gently took the doll and promised to take good care of him.

Frankly walked up to a nearby fence. "I bet you didn't know this old thing just came off, did you?" The fence then unhinged itself and dropped off, leading to some sort of cardboard green pipe. "This pipe leads to the Rogueport Sewers, now you three I must warn you, there are quite a few...um...hoodlums down there, so stay on your toes."

The three jumped onto the pipe and got sucked down it as I just stood there. "What the heck?" I jumped on top and got sucked down too.

We all landed in what DEFINIETLY looked like the sewers, with rusty leaking pipes and cracked walls. As soon as we started walking we suddenly heard a voice. "Hey there, hottie!"

Turned out the voice belonged to one of three goombas. One was normal, one had wings, and one had a green spiked hat.

"Maaan, what's a FINE goomba like you doing down here?" Spiky asked, I realized he was talking to Goombella.

"Why not ditch this mustached weirdo and walking pepper and come hang with us?" The flying one said.

"Walking pepper?" I tic-pulsed.

"Oh, it's like SO cool you guys think I'm cute!" Goombella blushed. "Yeah, guys like you make me feel like...TOTALLY BARFING! Now get out of our way!"

'Ohhhhh! Burn!'

"Ouch, that was cold." Normal said.

"Come off it sister, your too good for us?" Spiky questioned her.

"All right then lads, lets get 'em!" Flyer shouted as they charged us.

_Mini Boss: Goomba Trio_

Once more the curtains descended and we were on stage. The music this time was very upbeat and catchy, I kinda danced on the spot. Also, there was a Toad and two Goombas in the audience, I actually waved to them and the Toad waved back.

"Ah, a goomba, a spiked goomba and a paragoomba. It's the whole goomba family tree!" Frankly proclaimed. "Okay Mario listen up, if you jump on the spiked one, it will hurt. And your hammer won't be able to reach the paragoomba, so keep that in mind. Goombella can help you out as well, if you want her to go first, just switch. And I believe Ellix will help too, right Ellix?"

"Darn right I will! I've found a way to fight this time!" I called to him.

Mario just needed one jump attack to take out the basic guy, then Goombella used this move called Tattle to get us info on all the goombas.

"Okay! My turn!" I yelled. So I just ran over to the spiked goomba and socked him right in the face, knocking him out.

"Wow! You sure can pack a punch!" Goombella said.

"Heh, you should see Luffy." I smirked.

The crowd of three cheered us on throughout the whole performance as the paragoomba tried to swoop down on Mario, who blocked it easily. He just needed one more jump to finish it off. We all gave our poses as the victory music played and the very small audience clapped for us, then we were back in the sewers.

"Yeowch! We got whupped!" The goombas cried as they ran off in defeat.

"Yeah, you better run! Man, that felt good!" Goombella exclaimed.

"I believe they'll be more like them in the sewers, let us keep our guard up." Frankly advised.

And so we journeyed through the disgusting sewers, beating up goombas and weird spinny things and getting these things called a mushroom and some maple syrup. WHY DOES THE MUSHROOM HAVE A FACE!?

Eventually we came to a large gap we couldn't cross, so I just yawned. "Well, seems like the perfect time for a power nap." I said.

"Your sleeping now?" Goombella asked.

I simply laid down. "Yep, no worries, I'll be awake before you know it." So I drifted off.

I strolled through my dreams once more as I recovered strength and everyone else looked for a way to cross. It was a little later when I thought of something.

"Oh yeah! Maybe I can't use Rokushiki, but I can still use my Devil Fruit powers! I can't believe I forgot that! Doriririri!" I laughed.

Waking up I stretched and looked around for everyone else. I saw a nearby door and went in it.

I came face to face with Mario opening a familiar black box.

"MARIO! NO!" I tried to push him away but instead we both got caught. I was once again face to face with a yellow pumpkin face.

"OH MAN! I GOT YOU GUYS GOOD! WHAT, YOU THOUGHT A FAIRY WOULD POP OUT OR SOMETHING?"

"No! No! No! NO! NO!" I yelled frantically. "Not again! Not now!"

"BECAUSE I'M NICE, I'LL GIVE YOU GUYS A FREE CURSE!"

"NONONONONONO!"

"OOGITY BOOGITY BOO! YOUR CURSED!"

Bright lights flashed and I cringed, but me and Mario were still us, still made of paper, but still us.

"WEHEHEHE! NOW YOU HAVE BEEN CURSED! TREMBLE IN FEAR! WITH THIS CURSE YOU CAN TURN INTO A PAPER AEROPLANE!"

Me and Mario looked at him with half-lidded eyes. "...Really?" I asked.

"YES! BUT ONLY IN SPECIFIC AREAS! STAND ON THIS PANEL, WORMS!"

We did as he said and it started glowing.

"YES! NOW! TRANSFORM INTO A PAPER AEROPLANE!"

"...Okay..." I jumped and became a piece of paper in time with Mario, then we both autiomatically folded ourselves into paper planes and flew off.

"WEHEHEHE! LOOK AT YOU! LOOK HOW SILLY YOU LOOK! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE TRUE TERROR OF THIS CURSE NOW!?"

"...Yeah, it's truly terrifying." I muttered in a disappointed tone.

"WEHEHEHE! THEN FAREWELL YOU FOOLS!"

And so he crumpled up and flew off.

"Well...that was...interesting." Frankly said.

"This curse could be pretty useful, unlike the other one." I sighed, glancing at Doll Luffy in Mario's pocket.

We found a panel and transformed to fly over to the other side, where we arrived in a big room...with a humoungous stone door.

"Professor...is that...?" Goombella breathed.

"It's the Thousand Year Door! We made it!" Frankly cheered. "Come on. Let's take a closer look."

We approached the Thousand Year Door and found a weird stone pedestal, as soon as Mario stood on it the whole thing began to light up.

"Professor! What's going on?" Goombella asked.

"The Thousand Year Door is reacting to the magical map! Mario! Hold it up!" The professor told the plumber.

The map shone brightly as a large castle popped up on it, followed by the image of a silver Crystal Star.

"There it is! The location of the first Crystal Star has been revealed!" Frankly shouted.

All of a sudden Doll Luffy began floating up and was covered in a strange light.

"Wha-? Hey! Luffy!" I yelled trying to grab my cotten captain.

"Hey! What's going on?" Goombella asked.

The light grew brighter and brighter and then exploded...revealing a now normal Luffy. Well, apart from the fact that he'd been paperified as well and he looked a lot more...like a character in a story book.

"L...Luffy!" I said, rushing over to him. "Luffy! Luffy! Can you hear me?"

"H-He really is a real person!" Goombella stuttered.

Luffy began stirring. "Luffy!" I called one more time.

My captain opened his rubber/paper mouth open as wide as possible and shouted the following:

"SAAAANJIIIIIIIIIII! I WANT MEAAAAAAAAAAT!"

Back at Frankly's House...

"Hmmmmmmmmmm...HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!"

Frankly was studying the map as I was trying to convince Luffy that I was...me.

"Luffy, it's me! Ellix!" I argued.

He got a stupid look on his face. "Nu-uh!" He then began pulling on one of my spikes, much to my annoyance. "You look nothing like Ellix!"

"Stop that you baka!" I shouted, throwing him off.

He gasped. "NAMI!? Is that you?"

"NO!" I roared.

"What exactly do you remember...Luffy?" Goombella asked him.

He tilted his head. "Well, I got turned into a doll, then some mushroom thing picked me up, and then you came along, and we went in a sewer to a weird door, and then-OWWWWW! All this remembering makes my head hurt!"

I just sweatdropped. "At least we know he remembers what happened to him as a doll. But Luffy, I really am Ellix! Come on! Please believe me!"

He stared at me for a minute before giving his trademark grin. "Hey Ellix! Why do you look so funny?"

Me and Goombella fell over. "SO SLOW!"

"Er-hem, if I could have your attention please." Frankly spoke up as we turned to him. "I believe the magical map has revealed the first Crystal Star. And one Crystal Star points to the next."

"Hey ossan mushroom!" Luffy called. "I remember you said about a legendary treasure, right?"

"That is correct." Frankly confirmed.

Suddenly Luffy's eyes turned into pieces of meat. "Is the treasure loads of meat?"

I sighed. "Meat, it always comes back to meat. Luffy, even if it WAS meat, it'd be 1,000 years old by now, it'd be inedible."

He wasn't listening to me, he was dancing in the corner of the room singing: "Meat! Meat! Legendary meat!"

Frankly coughed. "Ahem, well in any case, the first Crystal Star seems to be in Petal Meadows."

"Petal Meadows?" Goombella asked.

"Yes. To be honest that place popped up a few times in my research, so I always had my suspicions. And I believe as you follow the Crystal Stars, they'll lead you right to Princess Peach." Frankly told us. "And Ellix, in terms of your friend I believe he was revived by the small amount of Crystal Star energy on the magical map. Therefore I believe the Crystal Stars are able to revive your friends!"

I smiled. "Well Mario, looks like we have a common goal now, do you mind if we stick around a little longer?"

Mario didn't hesitate as he said it was fine.

"Also, I believe you can now do a special move." Frankly continued.

"Special move?" Goombella asked.

"I believe it would be better to show you in practice then through explanation, let's go outside for a second." As Frankly took Mario and Goombella outside I turned to my captain.

"You all right, Luffy?" I asked, having to look up at him, now I know how Chopper feels.

"Yep! We're gonna get those Crystal Star thingies and then the legendary meat, right?" Luffy said.

"No." I deadpanned.

"Eh!? But whyyyyyyyy?" Luffy whined.

"Saving our nakama and finding Sunny are our TOP priorities. We don't have time for some 'legendary treasure'. I'm really worried Luffy, so we'll just follow them for now. Don't tell them we're pirates either." I said.

He nodded and placed a hand on his straw hat. "Yeah, we need to find our nakama." Then he placed a finger to his lips with a stupid expression. "And don't worry, I'll keep our pirate seeeeecret."

I just facepalmed as the three adventurers came back in. "Now then, I believe there is a pipe to Petal Meadows in the Roguetown Sewers." Frankly explained as he...footed the map back to Mario? "You'd best start your search there."

"Aren't you coming Professor?" Goombella asked.

"Oh no, I think I'll study some more on the Crystal Stars. Besides, I don't think these old bones are cut out for adventuring." The elderly goomba said as he opened a new book.

"Yosh! Let's go!" Luffy shouted as he dashed to the door, he then turned to Frankly and put his finger to his lips. "Don't tell anyone, but I have a seeeeecret." He then ran out as I sighed.

"Is he always like this?" Goombella asked.

"Most of the time...yes." I sweatdropped.

As we walked outside (where Luffy was telling random passerbys that he had a secret) A voice suddenly shouted "WAIT!"

We all jumped back as Frankly came out and gave me and Mario a badge each. Mario's was of an iron hammer with spikes, whilst mine was an uppercutting yellow fist.

"You two, it's dangerous out there, take these badges with you. They allow you to use more powerful techniques, they can also effect yourself and your attacks, or even your partners! But remember, attack ones need SP to use." Frankly explained.

Luffy rushed over with sparkly eyes. "Sugoiii! It can do all that!? Ossan mushroom! I want a badge as well!"

"I am sorry Luffy, but they are the only ones I have." Frankly explained.

Luffy slumped in defeat and turned on the puppy dog eyes. "Awwww, no fair."

"Sorry again, but good luck to you all!" And so Frankly went back into his house.

Mario pinned his badge on while I tried to find somwhere to put mine, when suddenly the star on my chest sucked it up!

"Nani!? Ellix's star ate the badge!" Luffy shouted.

"STUPID THING!" I said, pounding it. "I never should have fished you up!" Suddenly I performed an uppercut which trailed some kind of red energy behind it, it was AWESOME!

"I guess you can still use jt." Goombella gaped.

"I wonder what this thing actually is..." I thought aloud.

We entered the pipe to the sewers, but Luffy was persistent in going back and forth in it. "Wahoooo! This is fun!"

"Luffy! It's not a toy!" I shouted, dragging him away from it.

"Meanie." Luffy pouted.

We found a panel where me and Mario could transfrom (which Luffy sparkled at.) and flew to a new area. Luffy just Gum Gum Rocketed himself over.

"Woah! How can you do that!?" Goombella asked.

Luffy stretched his lips "I'm a rubber man!"

Mario nodded and praised his ability, which Luffy just laughed at. To be honest, they were kinda similar in a way.

We came into the room were we saw our destinated pipe...in the middle of a sewer water pond. But we were all interested in some kinda tentacle on the side.

"Shishishi! It's all slimy!" Luffy said as he slapped it.

Luckily Goombella was on hand with her knowledge. "Looks like we need to do something here, Mario. You'd probably ruin your shoes if you jump on it, so how about your hammer?"

Mario nodded as he brought out his hammer and slammed it down on the thing.

"BLOOP! BLOOP BLOOP! (Ouch! That hurt!)" A voicd cried.

I gaped. "How could I understand that!?"

The water suddenly bubbled. As all four of us appeard over the edge a GIANT SQUID BURSTED OUT AND ATTACKED US!

_Mini Boss: Blooper _

We were once again on stage, our audience had grown to 15 viewers. Luffy was sparkling as usual saying he was now a 'sugoi actor'. The music playing was the same as when we battled Lumpy Crump, and the squid thing dangled down from the ceiling.

"BLOOP! BLOOP! BLOOP BLOOP! BLOOP! (Who just up and whacks someones tootsies like that? Someone with some srious moxie, that's who!)" The squid gurgled, then noticing us. "BLOOP BLOOP! BLOOPITY BLOOP BLOOP! (Well whaddya know? It's some moustache guy with a straw-hat guy and a badly drawn devil!)"

"What did that thing just call me?" I tic-pulsed again.

Two tentacles descended from the top of the stage. "BLOOP BLOOP BLOOP! BLOOPITY BLOOP! (I'll give 'em a taste of the old tentacle trample!)

"A talking squid!" Luffy marvelled. "Hey! Join my crew!"

"Do NOT!" I yelled.

Mario switched with Goombella, who used her Tattle again. "That's a Blooper, only why is it so BIG!? EWWW! I can't handle nasty, SLIMY things! Max HP is 10, Attack is 1. His tentacles have Max HP: 3, Attack Power 1. Can we PLEASE take this thing out now?"

Mario went in and used his new Power Smash move to take out one tentacle in a single hit. He then did several awesome backflips, spinning his thin body around and landing with a cheer, the audience loved it and three more came in.

"That was awesome, Mario!" I said as the plumber smiled.

"Hey! Mustache guy! Join my crew!"

"WILL YOU STOP THAT!?"

Luffy went next as he pulled his arm back. "Gum Gum...Pistol!" He punched the other tentacle, knocking it out and making the Blooper itself fall to the ground.

"Okay! Hard Uppercut!" I used my new move to slam it in the face, even doing my own stylish pose.

The Blooper wasn't beaten yet, though. It got back up and squirted all four of us with black ink, it sidn't hurt that much, but it was annoying.

Goombella dealt a Headbonk to the squid, you should know how it works just from the name. Mario followed up with a jump attack as we had used up most of our SP and couldn't do anymore special moves. And finally Luffy stretched his arm far back.

"Gum Gum...Bullet!" He snapped his fist back into the Blooper and sent it flying off backstage, knocking off a load of Star Points in the process.

Luffy joined in on our poses this time. He fist pumped with his trademark grin. Then the curtains descended and I suddenly felt a lot stronger, indicating we'd levelled up!

"Yeah! I feel tougher already!" I shouted, which Mario agreed.

"Nani? You do?" Luffy said with a tilted head. "I don't feel any different."

I intertwined my arms. 'Why is it only me and Mario?...Maybe I'm overthinking it..."

We were back in the sewers as the Blooper was launched away, revealing some stone (cardboard?) platfroms we could use to cross.

"Hey, you ARE pretty strong, Luffy." Goombella hypothesised.

Luffy smiled. "Shishishi! Yeah! I'm gonna be the Pi-"

I quickly covered his mouth. "Pi...Pi...Pizza King! Yeah! That's it Luffy! You follow your dreams!" I smiled nervously as Mario and Goombella stared at us before hopping over the platfroms.

I jumped off of Luffys super thin shoulder. "Gomen Luffy, but what did I say?"

"Why can't we tell 'em though?" Luffy asked with puppy eyes. "They're not bad."

"We're PIRATES! That's gotta be bad in this world too! So we'll tell them later, when we're reunited with our nakama! Okay?" I said.

He still pouted, but I could tell he agreed.

"Hey! Are you two coming?" Goombella called.

"Yep, be right there!" I called back as we carefully hopped over the platforms.

"Yosh! Let's go get the legendary meat!" Luffy cheered.

"Crystal Star..." Me and Goombella sighed as Mario just laughed.

And so we all disappeared down the green pipe.

To be continued...

**Man! This is the longest chapter I've ever written in any story EVER! Shows how passionate I am about it. I cannot stress how much I love this game.**

**To **_gamelover41592, _**I hope this chapter answers your question!**

**To **_TheRealEvanSG, _**good idea. But if you do decide to make an AU like that, you MUST make Dimentio and Mr L. super awesome, they are two my most favourite villains in all the paper mario series.**

**Mario and related characters belong to Nintendo, One Piece belongs to Oda and Ellix belongs to me. END OF CHAPTER!**


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